Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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