On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
there was a trapeze. enough said
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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