dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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