friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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