Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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