She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
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If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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