problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize