just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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