the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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