I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize