I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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