TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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