I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
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u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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