it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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