$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
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My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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