I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
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I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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