She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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