I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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