That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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