I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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