Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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