As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize