Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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