what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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