we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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