i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize