we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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