I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
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I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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