Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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