i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize