I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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