nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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