I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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