i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize