You can't motorboat a personality
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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