I got chris browned last night
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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