Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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