How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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