And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize