even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize