am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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