Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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