Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize