i think my mom watched the whole time
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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