I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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