I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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