i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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