I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize