Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
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You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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