The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
try to milk me bitch
Randomize